The following is my notes on a talk given by Dr. Shalini Nag .
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From conflict to collaboration.
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Conflict is not necessarily negative. It becomes negative when you don’t solve it.
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Conflict is not necessarily disagreements. It might be simply incompatibility.
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Don’t avoid difficult conversations.
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Differences do not result in conflicts. Can you find a win-win solution?
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Try to find a win-win. If you can’t, take best actions you can.
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Focus on outcomes, not positions. Try to get the outcomes of both parties, rather than proving you are right.
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Look at the world through others' lens.
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Define the desired outcomes: What do you really want? Dig deeper! Be clear about what you want.
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Many times, you think it will be a difficult conversation but it’s not from the stand point of other people.
Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument:
Thomas-Kilmann Instrument, source:https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4054741/
Process:
- Take charge of your emotions.
- Define the desired outcomes.
- Understand and adapt your style.
- Use ALLIES@Work.
- Choose the path forward.
- Accept the you have blind spots.
- Listen to prove them right.
- From persuasion to understanding.
- From I want to fix you to I want to help you.
- Learn with curiosity. Ask why. Ask questions.
- Investigate possibilities.
- Examine your frame of reference.
- Synthesize and reshare. take actions.
Last modified on 2021-10-30