What If I Don't Have A Role Model?

Hongtao Hao / 2020-04-12

In elementary school, when asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, just as many other kids, I said I wanted to be a scientist. But many years later when I was graduating from college, I didn’t know where I was heading. There was no longer a great role model guiding my life. I got frightened, especially when many classmates constantly asked me: what do you want to do after graduation? What are you passionate about? I didn’t know.

I got even more frightened when I remembered a study done by Yale University in 1953 on the importance of goal setting. In the study, only 3% of the graduates responded that they had long-term goals. Twenty years later, those 3% were much richer than the other 97%. OMG, if I don’t have a role model to whom I can aspire, how can I make enough money to buy an apartment and get married?

From the first grade, our teachers and books told us that we must have a goal, to have a role model. If we have this role model, our life will be successful. But if we don’t, our life will be a failure. Is it really so?

Several years ago, it was confirmed by Yale University that the 1953 study never occurred. It’s a total fabrication. In a TED talk– “stop searching for your passion”, the speaker Terri said passion is not a job. She wants us to throw the idea away that our life can be successful only if we can find our passion. Throw it away. I believe the same goes for role models. When young we might have a yardstick of success and have a role model. But it’s natural that we change our role model over time and it’s also natural that we can’t find one at some point in our life.

Last modified on 2021-10-05